Well I met Don Quixote

In a bar the other night

He looked a little pale

But he said he was alright

He loved Dulcena

But she left him all the same

For a long black limo

And a pound of rock cocaine



He looked into his whiskey

And he took a little sip

He said "I never had much money

And I've never been too hip

I couldn't buy her clothes

I couldn't buy her that great big boat

But I always held the door for her

And helped her with her coat"



Then he turned to me and said

"I hope you understand

Yeah, it's tough to be

Just an ordinary man"



Well I ran into Jesus

At a luxury hotel

I could see by his expression

That he wasn't feeling well

I said "What's the matter?"

He said "Everything is cool"

Turned my Perrier to wine

Then he walked accross the pool



I stepped right up and said

"This seems a little odd"

He said, "Steve, it ain't easy

To be the son of God

And sometimes I wonder

If I've got what it takes

To assume responsibility

For everyone's mistakes"



Then he turned to me and said

"I hope you understand

All I want to be

Is an ordinary man"



Well the devil left a message

On my answering machine

He said, "I see you're going nowhere

So I thought I'd make the scene

If you make a few concessions

Maybe I could lend a hand

And you won't have to be

No ordinary man"



Well I called up the devil

And said, "I think I'm gonna pass

Indeed I'm kinda happy

Despite my sorry ass

I don't need fame or fortune

I don't need you

All I need is my buxom woman

And an occassional brew



Then I turned to him and said,

"I hope you understand

All I want to be

Is an ordinary man"